Virtually every person who has ever experienced happiness in online dating, complains that this process takes too much time. Similarly, it is necessary to devote a lot of time to reading each message, to answer and to arrange a long-awaited meeting. People spend so much time on long correspondence, waiting for answers to messages, and preparing for meetings so in general it takes weeks. Time in between 2 and 3 weeks of online chat is perfect to get acquainted in real time circumstances. There is a grain of truth in the statement that the longer online daters wait for a real meeting with their correspondent partner, the more they doubted that the meeting would actually take place. When a person is communicating to someone through online dating site for weeks, with each message his / her expectations increase. He / she invests his / her time in messaging. Those who have had to communicate online and could be called experienced users of online dating sites, say that 4 or 5 short letters are quite enough to agree on the first meeting and go to drink a cup of coffee together. Agree, you can not talk about any chemistry or sympathy until you meet him / her personally.
You should really know what you want
Most people visit dating sites simply to have fun, to diversify their leisure time, have fun, find out who you can chat with, or just meet when bored. At first, people can get lost and start answering absolutely everyone, respond to all incoming letters and thus spend too much of their time and mislead those who write to them. No hurry required. If you clearly understand your purpose, for example, get acquainted with the man you would like to meet as soon as possible without worries, go to the goal! Of course, the majority of those who meet online have certain requirements for distance communication. You need to be a realist. Be careful as you have to find out in advance the type of future husband you would like, whether he is not going to continue to correspond with you, if you live far away from each other.
Do you want to get married, start dating someone or just looking for friends? Not everyone knows the exact answer when registering their profile on the dating site, but after a while the answer will find you. Just a few letters from various young people who are looking for casual dating or just spending spare time together, or having a serious intention to find a friend, will help you understand what you really need.
Do not allow the correspondence to become an exam
Many young people want to know practically everything about their correspondence partner long before the meeting. “Where do you see yourself in 20 years and what society position you are going to take?”, “Describe your perfect dating experience you see it” “What is your favorite type of chewing gum?”. In parallel with similar surveys, they themselves respond to them, giving you as much information as possible about themselves. However, this is not an exam and you can ignore any question you deem appropriate.
Do not hang up with correspondence. If the very first messages seemed promising to you, please talk on the phone or meet.
There are cases when during the correspondence one of the partners “tortured” the other one with long letters, stories about himself, his views on life, and when it came to the meeting – he refused it just because he was far away to the proposed place. After that, the desire to communicate disappeared. The one who read the letters for the first hour begged himself with one question: “Why, I did not immediately ask about the meeting?” In turn, the first one found a different way out of the situation, namely to switch to the telephone mode of communication, so that he did not write so much, but he continued to philosophize for hours, to complain to his ex-wife or any other uninteresting to his interlocutor person.
Do not write letters to those who can not meet with you personally
It happens that during the correspondence the interlocutor tells that he travels somewhere, goes anywhere in business, does not go home at all and does not stay in one place for a long time. He writes every day, tells how he is doing, asks about you, periodically he’s missing out of your radar. Such people say they will be busy for the next few weeks, but you can continue the correspondence! Several letters and that’s all. He’s (she’s) disappeared. It is possible that someone really travels or is too busy with work and business trips, but it is almost impossible to figure him out among others. To avoid such cases, ask the interlocutor immediately if he has an opportunity to meet with you in the near future.
Find out if you have common interests
Well, when a person is able to support others in his endeavors or hobbies, he likes to learn new things and share his interests with others. Find out if you have any common interests with your friend on the correspondence? Maybe suddenly you’ll find out you are visiting the same yoga classes? And if you both are interested in yoga, such a common yoga class visit might be memorable experience for both of you. Of course, it seems better to hold the first meeting in a cafe, to share a cup of coffee with one another with your own interests, in this case, this cup will show if the next date will happen, if you have something in common. In addition, such a meeting will be more personal than the banal letter on the site. But there is no standards, think out of the box! Every meeting is great for the new experience. What if you do not like coffee or do not drink it because of the anxiety – you should forget about coffee date?
Call each other in the first 2 weeks of correspondence
According to experienced users of dating sites, 2 weeks is the limit of communication by correspondence, unless you live very far from each other. 2 weeks – it’s time to start a conversation about a meeting. Try to get started before the meeting, it will help you to see your interlocutor on the one hand. In addition, if during a conversation on the phone you feel awkward – just ask to go online chat. If all is well, it is advisable at the end of the call to meet personally. If you are ashamed – ask his (her) thoughts, do not offer or insist yourself. So, with your hint, he (she) will be the initiator of the meeting.
Chat and communication through the phone are completely different things. Chat gives a person more time to think over the answer, you do not hear each other’s voices. There were cases when it turned out that a person with a cool profile on the dating site had some difficulties with speech or language knowledge in real time communication.
Do not accept unexpected offers to meet
Some men offer to meet on weekends or any day, if they suddenly have a free time or simply say “Let’s meet today, when I finish my work, I will write that you go out.” Usually, after that, you won’t hear anything from him, and the girl has to re-plan her day through this message, to allocate time at least for a non-long-term meeting in order not to offend a person.
If the correspondent tells you that he will be able to meet you on a certain day, be sure to negotiate the exact time and place. Discuss each details, otherwise your meeting may not take place.
Feel confident at the first meeting
Some advice to drink coffee and feel confident on the first meeting. I would not recommend that. Coffee increases anxiety and you are probably anxious yourself. I would recommend to have meditation before the first date and during the date to have a cup of herbal tea. Mint tea is a great choice.
In order to find a person, we use Google, Linkedin and Facebook, and for the first meeting it is better to choose a cafe in a familiar area. It often happens that the first meeting takes place late at night in an unfamiliar place. Please tell your friend where and with whom you go. Rarely, but it happens that for the meeting comes the one you were not expecting to see, so it’s better to be careful.
Many men offer lunch, not just to meet a cup of coffee. The fast lunch is also good idea. But, unfortunately, it often happens that several consecutive days lead to disappointment, especially if you have nothing common to talk about. You can effortlessly try to engage in a conversation, but what if you do not have common topic for conversation? In this case, you may regret lunch at his expense (if it was for his expenseJ).
Many users of dating sites believe that the letters are enough, but remember that you must always offer to speak over the phone. If this communication goes well, feel free to offer a personal meeting. Insist on a specific time and place, rather than “somewhere downtown”. With such applied tips you will not waste your time in vain.
A small story of an experienced user of dating sites: “When I met my young man on the dating site, we only had one day correspondence before we arranged a personal meeting. We put the keynote to each other, exchanged a few short messages. The next day, we agreed to meet and drink a cup of coffee, because he said he did not like long correspondence. We barely talked before the meeting. So, both of us saved each other’s time and did not regret it! “