I am 25 and I am single - is that bad

I am 25 and I am single – is that bad?

This question has some shade of despair in it. It is going not only about the age of 25, but range of ages starting from 23 ending with approximately 29-30. Why is that so? Younger people have different reasons why they are alone at their age and often it is quite natural and normal and if you are alone after 30 reasons for this are completely different as well and usually these reasons are more serious and deeper, usually based on complexes and life patterns. But let’s go back to the age of 25 and find out what is loneliness at the age of 25, why many people at this age remain to be single, is it good, bad, normal… or there is something wrong with it.

It is good to start with a joke and if you ask directly ‘Is that bad that I am 25 and single’ good answer would be something like ‘no, it is great as you always have chance to choose the partner you would like to and whom you might suddenly meet at any moment of time without breaking up with your permanent partner’. And now let us move to more serious things.

Too weak to acknowledge the truth

Very often we are just like that – we might have some fears, problems, thoughts and within every day they just became stronger transforming into patterns of behavior. We do not like being alone, we have problems because of that, but we prefer not to acknowledge the truth that problem is within us, we prefer to escape from the problem, substitute it with alcohol, parties, hanging out with friends but telling everyone that you feel comfortable with such lifestyle and as for now you don’t want to build any relationship with anyone. It is real escape from the problems you have. If everyone around has boyfriend or girlfriend and you don’t, but you say you are ok with that and you don’t need anyone as for now this is bull crap. You just don’t have particular qualities to attract opposite sex, or you have, but you don’t know how to demonstrate them; you might be too shy or inexperienced and therefore to be afraid of doing some actions in search of your possible half. Many young people choose to hide from the real reasons of girlfriend/boyfriend absence by drinking alcohol and trying “to forget”.

Loneliness and state of being single is not for everyone

There are people who choose to be loners for life. They go into monasteries, some maybe have long retreats, meditate for 12 hours a day and although they could be found in the society they still prefer to be loners, it is just really the way of life they choose and they love to live this life because it was their conscious choice. If you are not one of them and you are single there might be some problems, but this depends on many other factors and we are going to look closely at them further.

Full harmony and joy from life can be achieved only being in a pair

This means personal harmony is very complicated thing and to achieve it there should be many factors completed. Those include having aims – short term and long term; doing job you love; communicating with different people and practicing and improving your personal skills in communication, emotional self-defense; doing stuff you love like hobbies; improving yourself – for example, doing mindfulness techniques,  doing yoga, swimming, traveling; having moderate physical activities; having active and passive rest; and, of course, being with partner in relationship – without this one all other subjects from the list would either have no sense or you would be hard to do or would bring no pleasure (or less satisfaction) or would consume too much energy from you to do something.

Loneliness for a certain period of time, to spend some time remaining with oneself, to know yourself better – this is okay, but if loneliness is based on a complex (es) or looseness – it is a problem then

There are some periods in our life when we just get really tired of everything. We don’t know where to move further, we don’t want to visit our work every day, we hate people around us – there are symptoms of emotional fatigue and a hint that it is needed to change something until serious problems with mental or physical health did not appear on the horizon. It such periods we need reboot. To restart yourself it is better to ask yourself what you really would like to do and start doing it without even care what other people might think about you. Maybe you want to start drawing even though you never did it before? Maybe you would like to take your action camera and go to the forest filming nature and your walk trying yourself as own movie director?  You just need some time to relax, to think about life and about things which really you would like to do and which really could make you happy. At this particular time period you may not have any relationship because they would only disturb you focusing on your life goals for the next few years. If you are single during such period of time this is ok, but watch this period not to prolong for too long – this is not ok, or… it might lead you to depression.

It depends how long you are being single. Did you ever have serious relationship before.

If you were few times in serious relationships, but you did not suit each, you lost interest in each other, did not stand each other in common life under one roof or there was some other reason for break up and now you are 25 and single it is ok. You were trying and she / he is not just you’re the only one, but you keep looking for him / her. If you have never been in serious relationships with anyone till this time – it is surely not ok. If your real future goal is creating family nest, you have to start with dating and dating is practice, the same as doing exercises, riding bicycle or roller skates – no practice – no achievements, everything could be made perfectly only with gaining experience and experience in relationships is not very different from experience in other fields of human life.

Maybe you don’t know how to build relationships and it is hard for you to start just as every new thing. Must say you have not to take it too serious and do not listen to anyone. Just try and the earlier the better. If you are 25 and you did not have a girlfriend / boyfriend it is not too late too start, because if you will start at the age of 30 it would be harder, if you start at 35 it would be more hard, if you will be 40 you might not start dating at all and be under the risk to be alone. If you have no wife, no kids you have lonely hoariness.

Psychological trauma from previous relationships

If you used to have serious relationship but your guy / girl have left you for another one or you caught him / her cheating you – you might have fear of future relationship as you are afraid of being burnt again. Your body reacts to new acquaintance as to some kind of danger, discomfort and chooses not to be together with anyone anymore, but such actions lead to loneliness, dissatisfaction with oneself and absence of life harmony, without which everything else seems having no point.

How do you see yourself in the future

It is important as it influences your actions now. It is like a plan for the future divided into many small steps which you do every day. If there is no wife in this future plans you are not going to do anything to have girlfriend now and so it is not weird you are single now. If you are lonely at the age of 25 having such life patterns it is surely not ok.

If you do not want to be alone, maybe you should look for the person with whom you would like to spend the rest of your life?

It is necessary to search this person among the circle of people of your interests. If you do not like to drink alcohol, go to clubs and indulge in primitive instincts, you’re unlikely to find the love of your life on a Friday night at the club. If you are interested in meditation, self-improvement techniques, travel, then it is better for you to join a circle of people with similar interests. There you have a chance to find your soulmate.

Spiritual level which you might not believe in, but facts tell for themselves

No one would explain you this feeling when you feel you can do literary everything in this world. You want to go working, to jump, to sing, you are full of energy. It is after you find the one you really want to be with. There is nothing better than realizing it. You may do everything according to own agenda, with short time enthusiasm, but without person you are going to do it for it still has no chance and you quickly realize it although stubborn people would try to ignore that fact and the more they do it the higher is their level of desperation.

Do not be afraid to be real man, do not be afraid to be real woman

You may not believe in this, but facts are facts and you can not change the global truth. Nature created us to be different, but to be together. But modern people spoiled with the good of civilization afraid to take responsibility. Creating family is very responsible step in life of every person, but many people choose to live with others for own pleasure, than to break up, than to do it again and therefore remaining unhappy, depressed and desperate. To realize his potential man has to take responsibility of creating a family. Only transforming energy of his woman he is able to reach success and his woman is able to create common harmony. This is how it works in this life.

Summarizing, it depends whether it is ok or not if you are single at the age of 25. In most cases it is still bad, but there are exceptions and you could better apply them to your personal situation. If you are alone, take your time, think sincerely what do you want from this life and start moving to your aim, healthy relationship is one of the parts of the game called successful life. SO if you are single at the age of 25 it is not that bad, but you have to strive for a harmonious relationship with person you first like and then love.

 

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One thought on “I am 25 and I am single – is that bad?

  1. Personal_Dating_Psychologist

    It depends what was the reason you have asked this question. If it was because of despair than yes – it is not good that you are alone when you are trying to be with someone ; it means you would like to date someone, to live with someone, maybe even marry someone you love but for some reason you didn’t do it till now.

    There are good news – EVERYTHING COULD BE CHANGED! Do not get into despair! It is good you realize something is wrong and trying to find the way out. Realizing is the first step to solving the problem.

    1) Be sincere with yourself and sau out loud your drawbacks even if it hurts
    2) Work on your drawbacks
    3) Be positive or try to be – do not focus too much on problems
    4) Start practicing meditation and you will see how life is changing for better and how big lack of concsious you suffered before
    5) Accept yourself the way you are – do not expect for quick changes, but work on yourself every day
    6) Start visiting places where there is potential opportunity to meet interesting guy / girl and start conversation
    7) Start with friendly communications and spending time together – do not focus on dating exactly – it will come naturally as a thing you both need if you find the right person

    Reply

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